


Boats Against the Current

by ladypeacefulladyhappy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Titanic, Historical References, M/M, Romance, Some angst, Titanic - Freeform, ok in hindsight a lot of smut?, probably historical inaccuracies, some scenes from the movie Titanic, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladypeacefulladyhappy/pseuds/ladypeacefulladyhappy
Summary: Patrick Brewer buys a ticket on the Titanic as a fresh start and meets David Rose on board.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 62
Kudos: 62





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

It was a chilly morning, but Patrick was sweating under the heat of his wool coat. Also probably from how nervous he was about this last minute decision. Patrick Brewer is a planner, a numbers guy. He is organized and tries to be calculated with every move. The only time in his life he felt reckless was with Rachel, and not in a good way. Because he’s a numbers guy, he knew that on paper, him and Rachel were perfect for each other. She was beautiful, kind, smart, and funny. He had known her for most of his life so they had a certain bond between them. Not love necessarily, but maybe more of a caring friendship. Although at this point, he wasn’t sure if they even had that, not since he called off their engagement. Rachel and him had an on again off again type of relationship, that’s why he only ever felt reckless with her. Because in his logistical brain, they were perfect, but after a while of being together, his brain could no longer ignore the feelings of his heart. That’s where he felt reckless, abandoning what he thought to be true on paper. This cycle would go on for years, his brain fighting with his heart about whether they were right for each other or not. Just last week he had decided, most definitely, they were not. 

He felt it in the pit of his stomach about two months ago when they first left for their trip to England. Rachel’s family still lived in England, despite her parents settling down in a small town in Canada when Rachel was born. Her parents had wanted them to have the wedding back in England where all of Rachel’s family could be in attendance. His parents were thrilled about a chance to see more of the world and Patrick had to admit it made him feel more excited about their marriage too. He wasn’t prepared however for the overwhelming emotions from Rachel’s family when they arrived. They spent the next two months going on about their marriage and future grandkids. He of course knew Rachel and him would have kids, it was the logical thing to do, the natural order of things, and he felt safe when being logical. But when Rachel’s family suggested that he and Rachel spend summers in England with them, he felt sick. He felt as if there was a black hole where his stomach should be and his soul and happiness were slowly being sucked into it. He finally ran outside when Rachel, overjoyed, said they’d love to do that, apparently not noticing the dread splashed across Patrick’s face. Once he made it to the bench in the garden out back, he fully broke down. He was hyperventilating and crying and had never felt this way in all of his relationship with Rachel. He had felt the feeling of the black hole in his stomach before, that’s when he’d break up with her and spend a few months “finding himself” which in reality meant burying himself under work. He had never felt this though. He realized he was making a huge commitment to Rachel by marrying her, it wouldn’t be something he could so easily escape from as he had done before. He knew though that if he ran away this time, it would be the last. He couldn’t break their engagement and still return. Not just because there’s no way Rachel could forgive him, but also because he could never forgive himself if he put himself back in that place. 

Rachel came out to comfort him and in that moment he felt the most reckless he had ever been. He told her that he couldn’t continue like this, that whatever was between them was wrong. He wanted to feel right, for once in his life he wanted to do the right thing too. He knew too that she deserved better than him, someone who feels right for her too. She cried, unsurprisingly considering her engagement was being broken in her grandparents garden, so he leaned over and picked a beautiful rose, sliding it in her hands which were folded on her lap. Her eyes continued to stare down at it and he leaned over and left a kiss on the top of her head. 

He packed his bags as quickly as he could, not wanting to stay for a second longer under her families judgmental gaze. He understood, he felt like a monster, he would understand if even his own parents never saw him the same way again. He left with hurried goodbyes to his family and one last mournful glance to Rachel. She followed him out and stopped him, sliding the rose back into his hand. “I thought you were my rose, a flower picked me. . .” a few seconds pass, “ I hope you find your rose.” There were tears silently falling down her porcelain cheeks but he could tell she meant it. She had been his best friend for years. It broke his heart though to hear the sound of defeat in her voice, like she knew they were done for good, knew they had been for a long time. 

He walked away, into downtown to search for an inn or a train station or something to help him decide his next move. What he found were posters advertising a passenger liner, a gigantic majestic ship headed for New York. He knew New York was hours away from his hometown in Canada, but he felt it was perfect. A perfect place for a new start far away from Rachel and old habits. So he did another reckless thing, but this time he felt a little more right about it, and he bought a ticket on the ship, the Titanic.


	2. The Rose

Patrick had spent the last week catching trains and sleeping in whatever hotel had an open room, until he finally reached this moment where he stood in a harbor in Southhampton on a chilly morning taking in the beauty of the gigantic ship. It seemed like a miracle, the fact that a ship so large could sit atop water so seemingly effortlessly. For the first time in his life he felt his reckless decision making paid off and maybe he really did have a chance at a new start. 

When he stepped foot on the ship, he felt transported to another world. One where he was just another person, a small person who could be lost in this new world. The size of the ship is what captivated Patrick first, naturally, but then he was in awe at the beauty of the small parts that made up the mass of it. The shiny black paint covering parts of the exterior, the smell of the wood from the deck under his feet. He was charmed by the workers and only felt slightly out of place with his brown, tweed coat and matching pants. He wore brown leather suspenders over his baby blue crisp button down. As he saw the musicians playing on the upper deck in tuxedos, he couldn’t help but forget the feeling of his scratchy pants and feeling out of place. Even the steam coming out of the gigantic boilers seemed magical. It was a beautiful impressionist painting, one when he first saw it from the dock, it was an obviously beautiful ship that shocked it’s viewers with the sheer mass of it, and up close the strokes were unique, every part of the ship providing yet another surprise to be in awe of. The amount of opportunity that seemed to be in front of him made him delirious as he stumbled off to find his room. 

He was happy there were still second class tickets available when he bought one and he was anxiously awaiting the number on the door to match the one on his ticket. Finally he found it and found out he shared his room with a man named Ray who cheerily welcomed him when he came to put his stuff down. He seemed genuine and happy which he had seen before in people, like his family when he announced his engagement, but this time he didn’t feel guilt when he saw that kind of happiness. For once he felt unconnected to the world around him and felt he could finally appreciate that happiness differently, maybe one day have it for himself. He decided then that Ray would be a good friend to have, although he was a little surprised by how many questions Ray asked, some that Patrick thought to be nosy. They spent most of the first day together and Patrick quickly noticed that while Ray might not have much tact when it came to personal questions, he also loved to tell his own personal stories, which served as a great distraction for Patrick, made him forget about everything he ran away from. 

A little after lunch though, Patrick was ready to explore on his own, ready for a little silence for the first time all day. He was roaming the ships decks when he found a little quiet spot with a beautiful view of the ocean. He felt a relief being surrounded by silence, looking out to a world of opportunities and maybe hope. His introspective moment of bliss was broken though when he saw movement out of the corner of his eyes and heard a quiet “shit” muttered. 

He slowly stepped forward and saw the back of some man painting the beautiful view ahead and then his eyes fell to a puddle of paint at the strangers feet, slowly filling the cracks in the wooden deck. His eyes quickly went back to the painting the stranger was working on, feeling almost more moved by the painting than the view itself. “It’s beautiful,” he said softly. Then a louder “Shit! OhmyGOD” was heard from the strangers mouth. The man spoke quickly and his hands moved expressively when he said it but Patrick was most caught off guard by the strangers voice, it was nothing he had heard before. Before he could think more about the voice he had just heard, he was taken by surprise again when the stranger jumped up and faced him. 

The man was taller than Patrick was, with a hairstyle he’s never seen before in his life, something so tall and structured. His dark black hair continued down his jaw line, covered in dark stubble. It didn’t stop there either, he had the strongest, sharpest dark eyebrows Patrick had ever seen. There were many parts to the stranger, from the eyebrows to the stubble to the jawline, he seemed sharp. But there were soft elements about him that Patrick noticed, most obviously his sweater he was wearing. A soft looking black sweater that was surprisingly tight, although not as tight as the man’s tapered dress pants. Patrick is by no means a fashionable man, he knows this, but he knows enough to know that this man’s outfit was like no other fashion of the time period. Then he noticed the other soft parts, his mouth, which formed a soft small smile, and his deep brown eyes that were covered in long soft lashes. The man was gorgeous. Patrick knew in his brain that Rachel had been beautiful but part of him felt he believed that because that’s what everyone told him. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that this man was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. And the man stared back at him too, though Patrick couldn’t figure out if the man was having the same reaction as him or not.

Then the stranger spoke again, “Hi.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Patrick heard himself say, “Um. Hi though. I’m Patrick.” 

“David, David Rose,” the man, David, replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first two chapters are up! Thank you again if you've read them and I will post more tomorrow.


	3. The Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick starts to get to know David Rose!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short which is why I chose to post 2 chapters a day but hopefully you guys like it!

Patrick felt his heart do a backflip, and he felt the once black hole in his stomach get a little bit smaller. David Rose, he thought to himself. Rose. ROSE. 

Patrick dug into his pocket and pulled out the rose that he and Rachel had exchanged, although at this point it was dried up, but still beautiful. 

He laughed awkwardly and showed David what he had been rummaging around for. “A rose,” he said. He raised his eyebrows quickly and shrugged in an attempt to somehow show he knew he was acting awkward. 

David’s eyes closed slightly and the corners of his mouth rose off to one side to form a sort of smile or smirk. “Because my last name is Rose?” He asked, making a few facial expressions in a row that Patrick has never seen a human make, but they’re endearing. They seem to express that David’s teasing Patrick which makes Patrick feel hot in his stomach, in a good way. 

“Ohh I could see why you’d think that, but actually it’s because your outfit didn’t seem crazy enough, so I thought you could use a dead flower pinned to your chest to really...seal the deal,” Patrick teased back, hoping it wouldn’t offend David. 

David laughed and said, “Funny,” in a sarcastic tone which only made the warmth inside Patrick grow. David kept the smirk/smile on his face which made Patrick know his teasing was ok. 

Patrick never teased Rachel, she didn’t find it funny and it was always something he wished they could’ve had, the friendship that came with it. Now he sees not only is David gorgeous, he’s witty, playful. It makes him feel something he’s never felt before, a fire in his stomach, a spark, attraction. In that moment he has the sudden urge to touch David, feel his arms or his jaw or something. He also realizes he’s been staring at David for minutes, totally silent, imagining things he has never imagined, and he hopes it hasn’t shown in his face. He thinks it must have, because David has been silent too, something new in his soft eyes, a fire behind them as David bats his long eyelashes at Patrick. Patrick thinks that David feels it too, attraction. He doesn’t know what to do or how to respond. He’s never felt so attracted to a person before. He didn’t know he could feel this way about another man, but it feels natural, like something he never had to learn. He doesn’t know what to do with this heat he’s feeling in his heart and below his stomach, does he kiss him? No…not five seconds after meeting him. That then rules out all of the other things Patrick’s imagining doing with him. David’s looking at him like he’s never been looked at though, and when David licks his lips while letting his eyes look Patrick up and down, he realizes he has to say something, or else he will definitely be trying the things he’s imagining. Things he doesn’t even really know anything about, all he knows he wants to touch David. So he clears his throat and breaks the trance they were in, “Can I sit?” he asks.


	4. The Clean Mouth

They’ve been sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, David fidgeting with the silver rings on his fingers and Patrick rubbing his hands over themselves. Finally David speaks which fills Patrick with relief. “So, you were saying something about my painting being beautiful when you scared me I think?” And it’s phrased like a question but it feels more like a statement coming out of David’s cocky smile. Patrick immediately thinks if he would’ve seen the painter before the painting, he would’ve first said that David was beautiful, maybe never noticing the artwork behind him. But instead he rolls his eyes and laughs which earns him a giggle out of David. “Okayyyy,” he says, dragging out the word in annoyance before pausing, “you’re very talented,” he says sincerely. The sincerity of the statement must catch David off guard because when Patrick locks eyes with him, the cocky smile disappears and his eyes go soft again. “Well…thank you. I’ve loved art ever since I was young.” It makes Patrick’s heart flood with warmth to hear even a small fact about David, he needs more. “Where are you from?” he asks, a question that opens the conversation which would last for hours. 

Over the next couple hours, Patrick learns that David is from New York, where the ship is headed. He doesn’t say where exactly but he lives with his family although they don’t seem to be close. He hears a little about his them, his sister is apparently a spoiled rich brat who lives an adventurous life, his father owns a chain of hotels and his mother is an actress. That’s why all of them are on the Titanic, because his mother had a premiere in London that they had all attended and now they ride first class together back to the States. David talks a little of his life in New York, he owns an art gallery which explains his talent, and shares more about the sights and sounds of the city. Patrick is captivated. David sounds like he’s lived an enchanted life, and the city they are headed for sounds like a dream, a place where anything could happen. Maybe him and David could happen there. 

Patrick tells David a little about himself too, a little about Canada and his job. He feels safe with David, and he’s asking Patrick so many questions about himself. He doesn’t tell him about Rachel yet, doesn’t want to scare him away. So he talks about his family and tells him he was visiting some people in England when he decided to book the ticket on the Titanic. David seems to have questions, probably “Why would you run away from your family and get on board a ship all alone?” Which…valid. But he must sense some sensitivity around the subject, so he doesn’t push. 

During their conversation, they joke too. There are quick, sarcastic remarks back and forth as replies before one of them says something sincere again. There is a rhythm to the conversation, a natural give and take that makes it all feel so easy. So easy in fact that they completely lose track of time and before they know it, it’s dark all around them. The scenery has completely changed from the one in David’s painting. A bright blue sky now coated black, with a blanket of stars covering it. At one point Patrick hears his stomach growl and he tries not to die of embarrassment. David smiles as if he understands Patrick’s thoughts and he goes to stand up, “You should get some dinner,” he says now standing straight up, close to Patrick, which sends waves of heat through Patrick’s body, down into his pants which tighten as David walks closer. He doesn’t want this moment to end so he gets reckless, again, and grabs David’s hand as he turns to leave. Now the heat in Patrick’s body has turned into a fire, his skin electrified from his touch with David. David looks down at him, his eyes look like there’s a hunger in them, making Patrick feels weak under his gaze. “Um…I’m just..I’m..” David stutters, which brings Patrick to the realization this could all be in his head, and now he’s just touched the hands of a man who is not at all attracted to him. He quickly lets go and apologizes quietly. “No! Oh my God, I was going to get you dinner. Like…bring it out here.” David’s face is making about a hundred expressions within the span of a few seconds and he rubs his hands against his cheeks, looking flustered. Patrick grins, maybe it wasn’t in his head. 

While David’s gone fetching Patrick’s first dinner on the ship, Patrick rests his back against the chair and replays the hand touching over again in his mind. How could a small touch and simply being close to David make him so aroused. He never enjoyed sex, only doing it because he was a logistical guy and knew that was what he was supposed to do, the order that things progress. Never did he feel a longing in his heart, a need to have sex with anyone. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew that’s what he was feeling now. A need. He needed to kiss David. He’s never kissed a man before, which was freeing in a way. He always thought it was wrong, something you weren’t supposed to do. That’s how he knows this isn’t him just following the order of things, because there shouldn’t be an order to this. Him and David should just be friends, he shouldn’t be imagining what David looks like under the sweater. But he was, and he needed to see, and for the first time not because he was following the order of things. David was gone for a little while, which made Patrick nervous. He wondered if he had scared David off, it isn’t appropriate to touch someone you’ve just met, to grab their hand, especially a man. He had forgotten himself. But soon enough, David returned. He had pasta, seafood, steak, and a bottle of wine. Patrick looked confused at the amount of food David had set out which brought a shy smile to David’s face. “I didn’t know what you’d like,” he said in a way that sounded like he was trying to be nonchalant, but it wasn’t working. Patrick wanted to kiss away the small smile that seemed to be permanently fixed on David’s face, thank him for bringing him food and along with it a feeling in Patrick that he never wanted to be rid of. David sat down across from him but their chairs were so close that they awkwardly bumped knees which sent flutters through Patrick’s heart. He finally opened his legs up more, allowing David’s knees to go in the middle, a perfect fit. Once they settled into their seating arrangement, Patrick reaches into the bag of food David brought to pull out the silverware and glasses when he notices, “Um…did you bring any glasses?” David’s eyes got wide and then crinkled shut, his mouth moving in every way possible before saying, “Oh, fuck!” very dramatically, which made Patrick nod and though he tried to contain his laugh it burst out of him, sending David into giggles too. 

“It’s ok, we can just share the bottle. If that’s ok with you of course! You look like you have a clean mouth,” David says. 

“A CLEAN mouth?” Patrick asks, somewhat in disbelief that a person could just say things like that so effortlessly but it also made him laugh. 

David giggled more and started moving his hands very expressively, “Yes! Some people have nice clean mouths, and some people look like they have sloppy mouths!” 

“Ohhh. Well maybe I don’t want to share with you because you have a sloppy mouth.” 

David has a shocked and offended look on his face, but Patrick can tell there’s amusement behind his eyes. 

They share the food, Patrick trying everything because David had gone and gotten so much just to find something he liked. They share the wine too, which only heightens the warmth Patrick feels radiating in his body. Finally, they share more stories and more banter until the wine bottle is empty and they are just sitting side by side looking at the night sky. Patrick can’t believe this is his first day on the ship, he really can’t believe it’s his first day meeting David. When he had first gotten on the boat, he felt small against the blank slate that the ship provided him, overwhelmed with the opportunities. He feels it again in this moment, as David’s knees rest between his own, small like the stars they were gazing at, up against a blank slate, sitting next to the moon. 

When he looks back down, David is staring at him. Patrick feels an overwhelming obligation to speak, to try and break the feeling of being under David’s intense stare. David breaks it for him though, maybe sensing his apprehension. He stands up and grabs Patrick’s hand to help him up too. It was awfully late, Patrick knew it, they should say goodbye. 

“Thank you, David.” 

“For what?” 

“The food, the conversation, everything.” 

“Well,” David says, his face looking like he was trying hard to fight a smile, “lucky for you I am a very generous person.” 

David’s staring again, and his smile has sort of faded into more of a calm look. Patrick knew it was coming but still couldn’t prepare himself enough for when it happened. David leaned in, tentatively, as if he still wasn’t sure what this night had meant to Patrick. Patrick wanted to show him, so he fought his logistical, orderly brain and maybe it was the wine they had been drinking, or the longing behind David’s dark eyes, but Patrick made a small movement to lean in too. David luckily took the hint and closed the gap between them, lowering his head to Patrick’s and brushing his lips against his, softly but forcefully. It was a simple kiss, but it sent Patrick’s body to another world, left him breathless. 

“Can I see you again tomorrow?” Patrick asked, leaving his head just an inch away from David’s and hoping the need he was feeling wasn’t coming through too strongly. 

“We can see each other whenever you’d like, Patrick.” 

David walks Patrick most of the way back to his room in silence, until they reach a small corner in a staircase which is when David quickly glances around them and grabs Patrick’s hand. Patrick was caught off guard but followed David’s lead, pulling himself flush to David’s body. 

“Meet me back in that spot on the deck tomorrow at noon, please,” David says in a hushed voice against Patrick’s ear, and this time, Patrick hears the want in David’s voice, the sincerity. The please at the end of his statement completely undoing any logic Patrick had left in his body. It makes Patrick’s body somehow feel tighter and looser all at once, he feels himself harden which leaves his knees weak. 

“Ok,” Patrick responds, his voice sounding gravelly and hoarse from the arousal he felt. 

David kisses him again, softly and quickly lest they be caught. Patrick can barely process it before David pulls away and glides silently back up the stairs, leaving Patrick to walk the rest of the way to his room, alone and deliriously happy yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok that's both of the chapters for today! I used some dialogue from the show obviously but also tried to add in my own...a bold move. Thank you for reading and thank you for all the sweet and encouraging comments!


	5. The Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the start of David and Patrick's second day together!

Patrick tries to sleep but tosses and turns throughout the night, unable to silence the events of the night replaying in his mind. He knew in his mind that he was awake and had been most of the night, but he still couldn’t help but question if everything he had experienced had been a dream. He had never understood what his friends back home would mean when they talked stories about love and first kisses. He always just nodded along, tried to laugh when he thought appropriate, and patted shoulders when a friend would sleep with a girl. Sometimes he thought to ask them what they felt when those events would happen, try and validate the empty numbness he felt with women. He never did though, part of him knew they wouldn’t give him the answer he wanted and then not only would he have shown his true feelings, but he would’ve been crushed that he confirmed his suspicions: he was alone. 

He replayed those memories of being by the lake near his childhood home next to the memory of just last night, his first kiss with a man, with David. He had found the missing page that made the story of his life complete and realized he had been looking all these years at an entirely different genre. Patrick lets out a deep sigh. David. He probably has no idea the fire he’s ignited in Patrick’s heart with every bat of his eyelashes or twist of his smile. Luckily Ray was out of the room most of the night so Patrick explored what the thoughts of David could do to his body. He dreamed of one day having David himself there to do those things, but for tonight, the memory of David’s lips on his own was enough. So yes, needless to say, he didn’t sleep much. 

He must’ve fallen asleep at some point because he’s woken up by the sound of Ray moving about and suddenly the sun was flooding their window, warming up Patrick’s face. He said good morning to Ray and Ray looked truly ecstatic that Patrick was awake. It was early, which made Patrick happy, he was a morning person. He had hours until he had to meet David, so he quickly got ready for the day and joined Ray for some breakfast. Ray excitedly told Patrick over breakfast about all of the activities he had done during the day after they had parted. Patrick nodded along and smiled, asking questions in hope that they would keep Ray talking and he wouldn’t have to describe his own activities of yesterday. After a while though, Ray finally asked what Patrick had been up to yesterday and Patrick’s face felt hot as a blush spread across his cheeks. 

“I had dinner on one of the decks. Someone ate with me...they were painting the ocean. It was really beautiful. So I sat and made a friend.” Patrick hopes that his answer will satisfy Ray enough and he hopes his smile isn’t a dead giveaway of the subtext behind his words. 

Ray smiled a very genuine smile, which makes Patrick wonder if he did pick up on the subtext or if maybe Ray is just that sweet all the time. “It is nice to have friends!” Ray replied cheerily. 

“Yeah,” Patrick replied blushing again. “I’m actually meeting them for lunch at noon,” Patrick checks his watch which shows him he still has a couple of hours until meeting David, “so maybe we could explore in the meantime.” 

Ray nods excitedly and they wrap up their breakfast to go check out what activities are available. They find shuffleboard and although Ray has to teach him, Patrick picks up quickly and ends up enjoying himself. It makes him think of his friends again back in Canada and of the games they would play, sometimes classics and sometimes things they had made up. It warms his heart to think of. He wonders how his friends would react to David Rose. David was practically a different species from his burly friends, David was the rose, and his friends were the thorns. So maybe not an entirely different species, but definitely different parts of the same flower. The thought makes Patrick smile to himself. Patrick feels lost in thought for a while and snaps out of it when Ray reminds him that it’s getting late which makes him check his watch for the first time in hours. It was 12:05, he was late. He apologized for the abrupt goodbye he had to say to Ray and raced off to their meeting spot. 

When he arrived he felt his breath leave his body, not because of the running but because the beautiful man was sitting in the same spot, an anxious but excited look on his face as his eyes roamed the decks looking for Patrick. 

“Hi, stranger.” 

“Shit! OhmyGOD!” David jumps and Patrick watches his face soften as he realizes it’s Patrick scaring him…again. “We have to stop meeting like this.” Patrick isn’t sure he agrees with David when he says this, he wants to scare him every day if he keeps getting the cute excited reaction he just received. 

David stands up to greet Patrick and he’s taken aback yet again by David’s outfit and the fact that somehow David pulls it off. Today he’s wearing another black sweater, one with roses embroidered down the front and white fitted dress pants. “Wow,” Patrick whispers, mostly to himself but he can tell David heard him by the blush that spreads across his face. David looks quickly around the empty deck before gently kissing Patrick’s cheek. 

“Well..” David says, fighting a smile and rolling his eyes, “I suppose…we can keep meeting like this. Meaning each time we meet you compliment me on something.” David says it like it is a joke but Patrick can tell the effect his simple wow had on David. 

“How do you know my wow wasn’t pure shock from seeing yet another ridiculous outfit from you?” Patrick teases. “Maybe I’m thinking, ‘Wow, David should really dress more sensibly’ or something!” 

“Oh,” David says dragging out the sound, “I suppose you want me to dress more like you then? With what I can only assume are ancient tweed suits?” 

“Hey!” Patrick says, acting hurt, “I’ll have you know they are very durable if they’ve lasted me this long!” 

“Fashionable and durable rarely go hand in hand,” David says trying to sound very serious behind his smirk. “They work on you though…I suppose.” 

Patrick can only nod and fight a smile to keep himself from kissing David as a response. “So, now that I know you love my clothes, what do you have planned for us today?” 

David smiles and his eyes go somewhat closed as he steps aside and motions to another bag of goodies. “Are you hungry?” 

Patrick’s brain is fighting his heart on a reply, trying not to let it slip that he’s starving but not for the food. “Always,” Patrick replies, winking at David as he says it which earns him a blush and a choked laugh. 

They sit in the same position as the night before, David’s knees settling in between Patrick’s as they spread out everything David brought. It isn’t the same feast as the night before, but it’s perfect. There are all kinds of cheeses and crackers and then an assortment of fruits and jams that can be spread across the croissants. Patrick knows his mouth must be gaping, he feels so special in this moment. David leans in slowly and kisses Patrick’s mouth closed before cutting into the various treats he had brought. 

The talking comes easily, both of them sharing what their cabins and their space is like on their wing of the ship. Patrick tells David about the shuffleboard him and Ray had played and promises to teach David later. David tells Patrick about the pools in their wing of the ship, the bars and rooms filled with music and dancing and laughter. Patrick is enthralled, hanging onto every word David says as if he is painting a new scene but with his mouth instead of his hands this time. He’s captivated by David’s hand movements that seem to come so effortlessly but make everything seem more interesting. His captivation with David is what prompted their first break in conversation, his longing stare replacing whatever words he could’ve thought to say. Finally he just reaches down and grabs a strawberry, holding it up to David’s mouth, hoping he doesn’t have to say what he is implying. David smiles knowingly and closes his mouth around the strawberry which is enough for Patrick to immediately feel his mouth get dry, but then David puts his mouth around Patrick’s finger which was covered in strawberry juice. Patrick feels like he’s just come undone and before he knows it the words slip out, “You captivate me,” he says in awe. Considering the dirty images popping up in Patrick’s head, these words are relatively tame, but he knows they are significant judging by David’s surprise on his face. David leans in and kisses him with more passion than the other couple kisses they have shared, making Patrick’s lips go soft as David pushes his tongue into Patrick’s mouth, deepening the kiss. They kiss like this for a few minutes, Patrick feeling the heat and desire behind their tongues slowly brushing over each other. David pulls away far too soon for Patrick’s liking and he hears himself let out a small embarrassing whimper. He understands though, they can’t be caught like this, it is risky for them to be kissing at all but especially in the daylight where more people are wondering.

They don’t kiss like that again for the rest of the lunch, but there are periods where the conversation lulls, one of the men initiating another moment of snacking out of the other’s hand. Patrick’s body is on fire, he wants to kiss David hard again and see where that would lead them. Unfortunately during one of their lulls while they just stare at each other, a worker comes up and apologizes, sensing he might have interrupted something. 

“Mr. Rose, your parents wanted to inform you that they will be dining out tonight with your sister. They are wondering if you’ll join them?” 

David looks at Patrick, like…really looks at Patrick. He sees David’s gaze travel all over Patrick’s body and stop on his lips. David’s eyes are darker than before and they stay locked on Patrick’s lips while he replies, “No, I will be dining in our room tonight! Thanks so much! When will they be back?” 

“They believed they’d be back around midnight. If you need room service while you’re dining in don’t hesitate to call.” 

David was still staring at Patrick but nodded in confirmation that he had heard him. The worker backed away and Patrick couldn’t help but tease David, “So you have a hot date tonight in your room?” There was hope behind his voice that what he suspected was true. 

“If you’ll stay with me for dinner then I will.” 

“I’ll stay.”


	6. The Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut!

They had been snacking on their lunch and talking until a few hours had passed. Patrick convinced David to play some shuffleboard with him as he showed him around second class despite David’s protests that he really was not a sports person. 

They had fun though and their playful banter carried over to the game as they got slightly competitive with each other. David wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t a sports person, he hadn’t won a single game yet which for some reason made Patrick’s heart feel warm, another fact about David. Whenever they weren’t talking and were simply playing, they still both had smiles on their faces and went back and forth sneaking glances at one another over the game. One of their many games ended and David broke their peaceful silence, “It’s my turn now.” 

“Your turn to what? Win? I think it was your turn a few games ago actually,” Patrick teases, taking a few steps towards David. 

“Rude,” David says in a feigned annoyed tone while his lips curled up to make a smile. “No, actually. I was going to say it’s my turn to show you around my world now, first class. I know a small bar with some beautiful music.” 

Patrick felt like his smile would consume him and he quietly nodded, “I’d like that.” 

David stared down at Patrick’s hands as if he was going to grab them and guide Patrick up to first class, but he looked up into Patrick’s eyes without grabbing them. Instead, conveying a mournful look that seemed to apologize for not being able to hold his hand in front of people. Patrick understood, society wasn’t ready for that. So he just smiled a soft, small smile trying to tell David he knew, and it was ok. David smiled back at him, a thank you for knowing. They had their own little language already, able to communicate with just a glance. Patrick’s never had that with anyone else. He tried communicating to Rachel in that way, with a glance or a facial expression, but she never picked up. Whenever she wouldn’t pick up on something he was trying to convey, he always felt his heart sink, he wanted to be understood. In that moment, he just wanted to hold David, thank him for making him feel seen. 

David and him walked side by side silently as they roamed the halls and staircases. They’d share a couple glances here and there, a brush of knuckles against each other, or a bumping of shoulders. Each one filled Patrick with an electricity, a nervous but excited energy that he didn’t know what to do with. 

Patrick wanted to say something, a thank you perhaps? A word vomit that ended in “I love you” maybe? But there were no words. He tried to think of something witty to say right as David pulled him to stop. David wiggled his eyebrows at Patrick which made Patrick giggle. He went to ask where they were but David beat him to the punch by opening the giant wooden doors. Any words Patrick had thought of saying stopped in his throat and instead his jaw opened slightly. They were looking into a room with a gorgeous chandelier hanging in the center which reflected gold light across all corners of the room. Everyone looked impeccably dressed and it warmed Patrick’s whole body to think he was there with David in front of these fancy people, even if they didn’t know it. The marble floor underneath them seemed to pull them in and they drifted to the dark bar off to the side. They shared whiskey and swayed in their chairs to the live music. They talked a little, on and off about their lives and their jobs and their friends, but mostly they sat in the gold light, drowning in the feeling of being there together. At one point Patrick looked over and realized David had been staring at him. He felt naked under David’s gaze, felt seen. No longer did David wear the usual smirk on his face, it was soft and relaxed but his eyes were laser focused on Patrick. His eyes scanned over Patrick’s body and he licked his lips, showing the desire he felt. Patrick felt it too, he wanted David, badly. He didn’t know how much longer they could continue this night. It overwhelmed his senses to just look at him like that. David leaned in to whisper in Patrick’s ear, “Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes.” 

“Ok,” Patrick managed to choke out. 

They were the longest five minutes of his life. Patrick sat in the chair and finished off the last of his whiskey, hoping it would calm his nerves. He thought he knew what was coming and he wanted it, but he was scared. He had never done this before with a man, or anyone that he loved and respected so much. Loved. He felt the words appear in his mouth before he could process them. He knows he can’t love David, they’ve just met. But he feels obsessed with him, wants to know him in every way. Maybe it’s just lust, his logical brain can’t allow him to even dream that it is love. It’s too scary. He realizes he’s been deep in thought so he glances quickly at his watch. The five minutes are up.

He slides off his chair and walks slowly and as calmly as he can to the private bathroom in the corner of the room. He glances around the room, feels like everyone is staring at him. But to his pleasant surprise no one is. They’re all laughing over drinks, clinking glasses, and dancing freely to the music. So he braces himself and knocks quietly on the door. Before he knows it, David has his hands around Patrick’s collar and he’s pulling him into the bathroom. 

They lock eyes for only a moment, both of them standing with waves of lust pouring off their bodies. Patrick’s logical brain be damned, he pulls David down and kisses him hard and deep. He can feel the passion behind the kiss, there is something so strong between them. David must feel it too because he pushes Patrick against the wall and presses his hips into Patrick’s, and yeah, he can tell David feels it too. He loves the feeling of his hips pressed against his and he grabs David’s hips to pull them in again, creating a steady flow of pushes and pulls. David takes off Patrick’s coat and unbuttons his shirt, his hands roaming over Patrick’s bare chest. Patrick feels like fire under David’s touch but David doesn’t stay like that for long, his hands already playing with Patrick’s belt. He can’t think of what is happening before he is standing there, pants around his ankles and David smiling up at him. Patrick is done for. He doesn’t know what to do, so he tells David exactly that. 

“It’s ok. Whatever you want to do, we can do. There's no pressure. If you feel uncomfortable we can stop,” David says gently into the base of Patrick’s neck. 

“Fuck, no. Don’t stop. That’s not what I want. I know that.” Patrick feels so flustered, he has to wrap his arm around his face, “Please, just show me how this should go. Please touch me.” 

He feels David’s smile against his neck and then feels David bite down there, Patrick has a suspicion it will leave a mark. He’s already moaning quietly and he’s trying not to be embarrassed by how quickly David’s gotten this reaction from him. Before he can adjust to David’s mouth on his neck, David begins lowering himself, planting kisses all down Patrick’s chest and belly and finally his thighs. He thinks again he knows what’s going to happen, but once again is completely unprepared for the feeling he gets when David wraps his mouth around him. Once again in his life, his logical brain doesn’t need to learn what to do, his body just takes over, thrusting slowly into David’s mouth and his fingers wrap tightly into David’s perfectly coiffed hair. He hopes David doesn’t mind, he knows he cares about his hair, but sure enough David reaches up and presses Patrick’s hand harder into his head. Ok, then. 

He has to leave his arm over his face, biting into his bicep to try to contain the animalistic noises he feels bubbling up. David picks up the pace and before long Patrick releases his arm from his mouth to try to warn him, “David-…Da” but then it happens and David’s taking it like it doesn’t catch him off guard, swallowing everything and then staring up into Patrick’s eyes from the floor. 

David looks beautiful, like a painting that belonged in one of his galleries. His lips were swollen and pink and his eyes were taken over by his pupils, his hair had fallen messily on top of his head. Patrick has to throw his head back against the wall because he can’t take looking at David like that anymore or he’ll need him to do that again. David stands up and pulls Patrick’s chin up off the wall to stare at him and he kisses him deeply. Patrick is taken aback by the taste of himself on David’s lips and he pulls off to stare breathlessly into David’s eyes. “That was amazing,” he choked out hoarsely, “You’re perfect.” 

David blushes and his eyes drop, unable to maintain eye contact through such a sincere moment.   
“You say that to all the guys who do this to you in a ship bathroom,” David tries to laugh as he says it. 

Patrick laughs quietly, “You know no one’s ever done that for me before,” which makes David blush because he knows it. “You’ve turned my world upside down,” Patrick says quietly without even thinking. 

“I’m not done yet,” David says, smiling with every part of his face. “Let me take you back to my room for dinner, I might have another surprise I can show you.” 

Patrick doesn’t think he can handle anything else tonight but follows David’s lead out of the bathroom once they fixed their appearances.


	7. The Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut but also more romance! It's the end of Patrick and David's second day together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left a comment or read this much! It makes my heart so happy to hear people like the story so far!

David leads Patrick into the grand staircase and Patrick has to stop and admire the beauty in front of him. He couldn’t help but let his mouth fall open at the sight of the enormous golden chandelier that lit the room and the red velvet that lined the winding marble staircase. David went on for a minute or so not realizing Patrick had fallen behind. He had an embarrassed look on his face as he came back down the few steps and over to Patrick. 

“C’mon,” David whispers. 

And although the dream Patrick felt he had wandered into seemed to break for a second as he started to go up the stairs, he felt it come back together quickly when he caught David’s eyes. 

Soon enough they were in David’s room which was beautiful. It was as luxurious as Patrick had pictured based off of David’s stories with velvet lounge chairs throughout, a magnificent bed with a jacquard bedspread, and small chandeliers illuminating the room. He went to make a comment but once again his words stopped in his throat as David kissed him gently. He pulled away too soon for Patrick’s liking but then David did as he promised: surprised Patrick yet again tonight. 

“Can I paint you?” David asked quietly, his face only a breath away from Patrick’s. 

“Me? Why? I mean…sure, if you wanted,” Patrick is totally caught off guard by David’s request, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands to try and hide the blush he felt spread across his body. He expected a lot tonight being led back to David Rose’s bedroom, but this was not one of them. 

“Because you’re beautiful,” David said, fighting a smile back and nodding his head.

Patrick nodded shyly and David helped him take his coat off before slowly untucking and unbuttoning each of his shirt’s buttons. Patrick felt himself swallow hard, realizing what kind of painting this was. It made him even more honored, that David would want to see him this way, to be his muse. He helped David the rest of the way until he was naked, only this time feeling much more vulnerable than just minutes before in the bathroom. David led him to a lounge chair and helped him pose before sitting down and starting his painting. There was quiet music playing in the background which made Patrick’s heart melt even more at the situation. Patrick wanted to feel embarrassed, posing so vulnerably in front of David, but he felt safe, cared for. So he stayed as still as he could for what felt like a long time until David smiled to himself and stood up. He walked over bashfully before flipping his paper over and showing Patrick. 

“Wow,” Patrick felt his whole body weaken upon seeing himself that way, captured by David’s beautiful talent. “It’s really beautiful, I can’t believe you did this. It doesn’t even seem like me.” 

“That’s the version of you I see, a beautiful painting.” 

“I never want to forget this moment.” 

“I don’t want you to either,” David said with a small smirk on his face, “What’s your address?” 

“In Canada?” 

“Yes!” 

“Wha-…Why do you want my address? You just painted me naked and now you’re asking for my address?” Patrick says laughing at the randomness. 

“I want to send you this if I can,” David says quickly as if trying to appear like he didn't really care. His smile and his eyes though give away that he is happy to share this moment with Patrick. It makes Patrick come undone and he can’t resist anymore. He takes the painting out of David’s hand and sets it down before taking his hand and guiding him to the bed. He kisses David, deeply. Trying to show the appreciation he was feeling in his heart. He let his kisses roam across David’s stubble and down his neck. He slowly let his hands explore before slipping them under David’s sweater, then letting them press against David’s chest and waist. 

He’s so nervous, he doesn’t think he can compete with what David did to him earlier, but he wants to try. So he unbuckles David’s belt and begins palming over him with his hand. David’s eyes are big, begging, and Patrick can feel that he’s ready underneath the pants so he helps David out of them. Patrick knows his jaw is open and his pupils are large, hungry to make David feel good, hungry at the sight of David underneath the layers of fashionable clothes. He leaves soft kisses up David’s legs, trying to be gentle. It isn’t long though before he wraps his mouth around David, taking in the size of him. It’s harder than David made it look, struggling at first to find a rhythm, but when he looks up David doesn’t seem to mind, he is looking at Patrick like he really was a work of art. So Patrick kept going, holding him down which gave him a throaty moan from David. Wanting to hear more of that, he pressed his fingers into David’s hips, picking up his pace. He feels beautiful, wanted. David’s moans are beautiful and Patrick never wants them to end, but then David’s calling out Patrick’s name which spurs him on, and then he’s swallowing the taste of David, trying to keep up as well as David did earlier. 

Patrick looks up at David while leaving kisses on his hips where his fingers had been and then his belly, chest, and neck before David pulls him into a deep kiss. They’re kissing breathlessly, both desperate for each other, and David wraps his hand around Patrick’s length. Patrick had already been so close just listening to David and feeling him in his mouth that it didn’t take long to unravel into David’s hand and onto their chests. They’re laughing softly into each other’s necks and both kissing each other gently. Patrick tries to wrap himself around David to cuddle, but David quickly gets up and comes back with a wet towel to clean them up. He feels even more taken care of now than before. They’re lying there, tracing lazy circles on each other’s chests when suddenly David’s stomach growls. The suddenness of it breaking their silence which sends them both into a giggling spell. 

“It’s getting late, we should probably call room service and eat before my family walks in on us naked,” David says with a smirk. 

“Yes, please.” 

They order more pasta and steak and for the first time pizza for their dinner in bed, only covered by the thin white sheets. It warms Patrick’s heart, the way they pass the plates between them, stealing glances and brushing fingers as the plates switch hands. They talk more serious topics tonight, hopes and dreams, Patrick asking what David’s dream job is. “Is the gallery your dream job?” 

“No. I thought it was. But I found out my parents have been buying off my donors, buying pieces from my gallery without my knowledge...None of it was real. Although even if it was, I don’t know if it’s right for me.” 

“That sounds awful,” Patrick says, nodding along. “What would you do then, if you didn’t do that?” 

“I actually have a dream, but I’ve never said it out loud.” 

“Well, I’ve never had another man’s dick in my mouth so let’s say tonight is a night of firsts,” Patrick jokes. His heart soars when it makes David laugh heartily.

“Point taken," David nods and closes his eyes, "Well, I’ve dreamed of having my own shop. A general store but like, a very specific store. I would sell local products, things that would otherwise have no real access to the public. I’d fill it with the things I love. Wine, cheese, skin care products,” David says, clearly having given lots of thought to something that is only a dream. 

“I like it a lot. I hope you get it.” 

“Maybe I will. I don’t think New York is the right place for that though.” 

“Is it the right place for you and me?” Patrick asks, quietly. 

“I think it could be. If I did open a shop, you can help me with it. You’re a numbers guy so I need that to balance out my big ideas. We could own a little home,” David clears his throat and smiles, “What would you do?”

Patrick’s heart swells. He wants to say that David Rose is his dream, but he thinks David knows that at this point and he thinks David feels the same way.

“Well I was going to say maybe perform, sing. But now that I’ve heard your dream I want to steal it and say that mine would be to help you run your store. In my dream world, we’re together.” 

David nods in agreement, seemingly happy with Patrick’s answer. 

After talk of what their dream home would look like and what they’d do in their free time, they finally get dressed and David walks Patrick slowly back to his room. During the walk they make plans for the next day, another lunch date. Patrick prays it will turn into an all-day affair like today. They get to the door and Patrick slips a note into David’s hand, one he wrote secretly while David fixed his hair in the bathroom mirror. 

“My address, in Canada. I want the painting. I never want to forget this night.” 

David smiles and Patrick thinks he sees tears build up behind the soft dark lashes. David nods and lets out a little, “Hmph,” noise, “Well…Thank you very much. Not just for the address. For everything tonight.”

Patrick sees his opportunity and takes it, smiling like a lovestruck teenager, “Well, luckily for you I am a very generous person.” He sees David scoff and laugh and he opens his bedroom door behind him and slips inside, his eyes locked with David’s until the door shuts.


	8. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and David start their third day together on the ship.

Patrick is anxiously awaiting the hands of his watch hitting twelve the next day, ready to begin whatever adventure is in store for him. He thinks that even if David showed up with leftovers from the night before and just planned to sit on the deck all day, it would be enough of an adventure. 

Twelve o’clock finally rolls around and Patrick races up to their secret spot. David was there waiting in front of another spread of meats and cheeses and fruits with freshly squeezed orange juice off to the side. The spread was similar to the day before, and it filled Patrick with happiness to feel like they had not only their own secret spot, but a little tradition, even if it was a tradition of only two days. His eyes travelled along the spread of food and then finally he braced himself to look over the beautiful man behind it, patiently awaiting Patrick’s reaction. He felt so bashful, standing in front of David. How can that be when David just the night prior had seen Patrick so vulnerably? He felt like a schoolboy the way he blushed under David’s eyes that he couldn’t bring himself to meet yet. He was scared to look David up and down, not ready for the confirmation that the night before hadn’t been a dream, not ready to face that his life had been so altered in just a couple days. He finally works up the courage to move his eyes from the cheese in front of him, first noticing David’s long, shiny black dress shoes which then drew his eyes to David’s bare ankles, no socks to be seen and the cropped pants exposing the skin below. His skin feels hot just seeing that little glimpse of David’s skin, and now he really feels like a lovestruck schoolboy. His eyes slowly move up David’s legs, taking in the stormy gray fabric that snugly fit David’s calves and thighs, perfectly tight in all the right places with a sharp crease running down the center of each leg. Finally he braces himself for whatever unexpected sweater David had on that day, which ends up being Patrick’s favorite. Another snug black sweater with white embroidery spilling over the shoulders in a lace-like pattern. David looks stunning and Patrick suddenly wishes he could paint too so he could capture this moment. He raises his eyes to soak up the last bits of David, his lips and his stubble and his gravity-defying hair. He can’t help but smile unabashedly at the sight of him, in complete disbelief that this man was in front of him. The sounds of David’s moans last night are replaying in his head and as he makes eye contact with him, he knows it wasn’t a dream. At least not the kind you have while you’re asleep. 

“Hi,” David says, blushing as Patrick stares in disbelief at him. 

“Hi to you,” Patrick replies, his smile growing with every second. 

“I’m glad you came.” 

“Why wouldn’t I come?” 

“I thought maybe you’d regret what happened last night.” 

The words regret had never crossed Patrick’s mind after last night’s endeavors. He wanted to kiss away the wary look in David’s eyes but remembered where they were. Instead opting to speak, “I could never regret a second with you.” 

They sit down, both smiling brightly and never breaking eye contact. They finally are forced to when they start to eat but Patrick doesn’t mind. They slide in and out of conversation, like usual, Patrick feeling at home in the way they joke with each other. It feels so natural, like this is where he was always meant to be. Thoughts creep up in the back of his head about the fact that their time on this ship is limited, only a few more days and they are supposed to be in New York. He finally realizes he never asked the daring question that David had asked him, “So…” he starts, “Did you regret last night?” 

David looks surprised which makes Patrick hopeful that those words hadn’t been in David’s head all night either. David stutters out a “No!...N-…no. It was perfect, a dream. I never wanted it to end! I’m hoping we can repeat it again tonight…maybe less painting though.” David’s smiling and Patrick melts knowing David is being sincere. It opens a door, allowing Patrick to speak the words that he wasn’t sure at first could be uttered in daylight. 

“It was a dream for me too,” Patrick says hesitantly, unable to raise his eyes and meet David’s. “And in terms of dreams for the future, I want to see you. When the ship docks I don’t want it to be the end,” Patrick keeps his head down.

David clears his throat, a signal for Patrick to raise his head and eyes and he sees David’s eyes have tears behind them. He seems to think what Patrick is thinking too which is that they’d have unbelievable hurdles to cross to be together. Most likely they’d need it to be secret, and then there’s the distance and their respective lives they both have apart from each other, and then…Patrick’s deepest fear, that somehow something would change between them when their feet touched the dock in New York. His eyes feel hot with tears behind them too, overwhelmed with a heaviness in his heart that he knows David feels too. David breaks their silent tearful gaze, quietly he says with a mournful smile, “It won’t be the end.” 

Patrick can’t even smile, he feels so much in his heart, lust or maybe love or both, definitely a weight that makes his heart feel heavy with sadness and desperation. All he can do is stare deeply into David’s eyes, his gaze expressing everything he can’t articulate, and he feels himself nod as a tear slips out, falling down his cheek. He feels the words on the tip of his tongue, I love you, he thinks, and he understands why David says it won’t be the end. They can’t bear the thought that in a few days, this magical moment they shared will be gone, the only thing left being memories and a shared painting. So they won’t say it. Instead they will push away thoughts of a goodbye, let themselves dream that in a few days they will step off the dock hand in hand and head towards their home. 

All of the sudden, as if reflecting their inner monologues, the sky opens and rain starts falling. They needed it, needed to be shocked out of the sadness they both felt. The unexpected drops make them both start laughing, at first both letting out an abrupt laugh but then tumbling into uncontrollable giggles, quickly packing up the rest of their meal. David leads the way quickly back to his room where Patrick waits outside as David slips in to drop their food. He comes back out with a bag and Patrick looks apprehensively at David. 

David rolls his eyes in classic David fashion while waving his hands around, “I am not an athlete like you. But…I do know how to swim.” 

Patrick’s eyes light up and he wants to envelope David in his arms. “Oh…my gosh! Yes let’s swim!” He’s so excited to do something so fun and random, and of course excited to see David in a swimsuit. 

David patiently waits outside Patrick’s door as he grabs his swimsuit too and they quickly rush off to the first class pool. David’s greeted by staff, all welcoming “Mr. Rose” and Patrick feels his face get hot and his heart fill with pride to be seen with David, even if they don’t know that they’re here together in that way. They walk into the great room filled with beautiful tiles and chandeliers that make the water glimmer. The rain has given many people the same idea as them, making the pool crowded. He looks over and sees David’s expressive face twist up in annoyance that there are so many people which makes Patrick laugh. Patrick thinks the company is actually good, people playing games in the pool, splashing water around, men standing close to other men, it makes Patrick and David inconspicuous. They slide in the water and Patrick watches David’s face go on a facial journey, ultimately landing on an expression of disdain and apprehension. 

“I thought you said you know how to swim,” Patrick smiles and teases. He knows why David is making that face, he just wants to push his buttons. 

“Um…I do!...I am…thrilled to be here,” David’s eyes crinkle shut and he waves his hands around. 

Patrick holds back his laughter, “So…you’d be happy if I got us invited into their games…we could maybe dunk you or something.”

“Um…yes. I would love that. I would love nothing more.” David obviously trying not to give away his annoyance with the rowdy fellow swimmers for fear of being pretentious. Patrick can’t help himself so he pushes a little further by slowly letting himself drift away, going towards the crowd of people in the rest of the pool, his eyes taunting David. 

“Ok! I’ve think we’ve had enough of that!” David whispers viciously, but he has a huge smile on his face, showing his defeat. 

“There it is!” Patrick says, bursting into laughter.

David rolls his eyes, knowing his bluff has been called and suddenly he’s moving his hand quickly and splashing Patrick. First Patrick is shocked and makes an offended face, trying to contain his laughter. He loves to tease David so he splashes him back, both of them unable to control their smiles. They go back and forth, Patrick feeling grateful that everyone around them is doing similar things so they don’t look out of place. Finally Patrick gets a big enough splash that it covers David’s hair, making it fall slightly around his face. Now David really does look shocked and Patrick rushes over to him asking if he’s ok but when he gets closer David’s suddenly stifling a laugh, “I’m feeling very shaken!” David says and he has the look where Patrick knows he’s still teasing. “Do you think you’re going to make it, though?” Patrick asks flirtatiously, lowering his voice. 

David’s blushing and fighting a smile, “Unclear. Unclear on whether I’m going to make it through or not.” 

Patrick lets out his laugh and asks if David wants to sit on the chairs by the pool. David nods quietly and they get out so David can grab a towel and dry off his hair. It doesn’t take too long to start to dry, leaving Patrick’s mouth dry as he sees David’s once perfectly coifed hair turn into a pile of curls. They lay by the pool for hours, sometimes chatting about their surroundings, sometimes just sipping their drinks in a comfortable silence. 

As dinner approaches, the pool slowly clears out until they’re left alone, sipping their drinks and listening to a record play. Suddenly David stands up, hand reaching out to Patrick. Patrick blushes and stands up, wrapping his fingers into David’s. They’re alone, and Patrick allows them to have a moment together, no matter how fleeting. They begin to dance slowly, chests pressed against each other’s. Patrick knows the song playing and begins singing it softly into David’s neck. 

“Tender lights gleaming on the silent shore… Lonely nights dreaming 'till we meet once more… Far apart, her heart is yearning…With a sigh for my returning…With the light of love still burning passing days of yore…We were sailing along on Moonlight Bay”

He looks up and David’s eyes are shut, silent tears rolling down his sturdy cheeks and dark stubble. Patrick reaches up and brushes the tears off of David’s face, leaving a few soft kisses in their place. 

“Why are you crying, honey?” Patrick letting himself say the pet name he’s been thinking of all day. 

David’s eyes open and there’s something indescribable behind them. He opens his mouth to speak but then shuts it, as if the words being spoken would bring whatever it was behind his eyes to light. Patrick’s heart filled up with warmth and a sadness creeped back into his brain. 

“I understand…” He said quietly, staring into David’s eyes, “I feel the same.” They stayed like that. Silently swaying, dancing on a line of words they dare not speak until finally David’s stomach growls same as last night, and Patrick lets out a laugh before suggesting they get dinner in second class together. David nods and they agree to meet in the second class dining hall in half an hour before parting and getting ready for the evening ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of the comments and for reading! The song is actually a real song from 1912 and in general I tried to do research but also I know some of these things might be unrealistic for the time period! So thank you for playing along!


	9. The Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More graphic smut in this chapter as David and Patrick finish out their third day together.

The thirty minutes fly by and soon enough they meet again, both in their dress pants and both in crisp button downs. David’s is clearly nicer than Patrick’s but it doesn’t completely give away that he’s first class dining in a second class room. The food in the dining room is good, not quite as good as first class, but good enough. They drink champagne, both of them letting the bubbles wash over them and make them giddy. Ray is there and sits down at Patrick’s table. He hasn’t talked to Ray much since the other day, Ray usually already asleep when Patrick has gotten back. Patrick is scared, knowing Ray and the personal questions he asks, he’s hoping he doesn’t probe too much about how the two men know each other. Luckily Ray falls into easy conversation with David, asking about David’s gallery and his family and then Ray shares stories of his own about the various business ideas he has and they’re ridiculous, but Patrick thinks Ray could actually make them work. They talk well past when they’ve finished eating and Patrick feels a little tipsy after all the champagne.

At one point after one of Ray’s questions, Patrick loses himself in his own reply, going on about what he loves about Canada, telling stories about his childhood. When he realizes he’s been rambling, he stops and looks up, making eye contact with David who must have been staring at him for a long time. There’s hunger behind David’s eyes, longing. Patrick is speechless suddenly, lost now in David’s stare. Ray doesn’t notice, instead talking mostly to himself before excusing himself to get more to drink. David takes the opportunity and reads Patrick’s mind. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” David asks. 

Patrick can only nod, his heart feeling warm, his skin hot, his mind curious about what they’ll do tonight. As they walk out quietly, waving goodbye to Ray at the bar, David whispers that he knows a quiet place and leads Patrick down staircases and through small hallways before arriving at an open space, full of cars. 

Patrick looks around with bright eyes, taking in the sight of the expensive cars all lined up in rows. “Why…why are we here?” He asks innocently. 

David doesn’t answer, instead pulling Patrick by the hand towards a specific car in the middle. He opens the door and gestures for Patrick to get in. The act alone makes Patrick blush and he feels himself harden slightly, becoming aware of why they’re there. 

“My room is full I’m afraid and I didn’t want to risk Ray coming back to yours…I hope this is ok.” 

“It’s perfect…But…what if the owner comes looking for it,” Patrick says nervously.

“Well my parents are dining early tonight and spending time in the room, so I’m pretty sure they won’t be down here to check the car.” 

Patrick realizes that it’s theirs and he blushes. He leans up and pulls David in for a deep kiss, pulling his chest close to his own, looping his fingers in David’s belt loops to pull his hips against his. Patrick feels David’s erection pressing against his own and he feels so desperate, needing more than what they shared last night. 

“I want you, please David,” he whispers quietly into David’s neck. 

David doesn’t reply, instead just pushing Patrick into the car and shutting the door behind him. They take their time, slowly undressing each other and both leaving kisses wherever they can. They’re grinding against each other slowly and Patrick kisses David again deeply. He expected their kiss to turn as desperate and needy as he was feeling, but it stayed slow, deep and passionate. “I don’t want to rush this,” Patrick says, articulating what he thinks is in both of their minds.

“Me neither,” David smiles with a soft smile and Patrick thinks he sees tears behind his eyes. Patrick can’t reply for fear that he’ll start crying himself, so instead he just pushes David back and climbs on top of him, kissing him again. They stay like that, kissing deeply and rubbing against each other, hands exploring each other’s bodies before finally Patrick can’t wait anymore and slides down David’s chest to take him in his mouth. He lets his tongue explore down there, leaving kisses and little bites, spurred on by David’s moans. He tries to go slowly, not wanting to rush David, but soon David’s begging him for more so he speeds up, feeling himself already close by the sight and sound of David. David pulls his head off and Patrick stares up at him confusedly. 

“I want you inside me,” David says desperately. And well…how can Patrick say no to that? 

So he lets David show him what to do, David giving him soft instructions and directing as Patrick pushes his finger inside of him. It’s such a different feeling for Patrick and he can tell it’s already driving David wild. So he slides in another, and then finally another until he’s picking up speed and making David moan his name. Finally David stops him again, choking out the words to tell Patrick that he wants more, doesn’t want to finish like this. Patrick’s heart is racing and he prepares himself to enter David. He does, slowly at first until bottoming out and then finally David gives him the ok and he starts slowly rolling his hips in and out, slowly and tenderly. They kiss while Patrick thrusts slowly and deeply and Patrick feeling himself close to saying the three words he knows he can’t say, knows he can’t say them if they only have a few days. His eyes fill with tears and David’s do too, reading Patrick’s thoughts. “You’re mine,” Patrick says, lowly into David’s ear, the only thing he can say to stop himself from saying he loves him. 

“I’m yours, forever yours,” David replies, letting a tear escape. Patrick feels overcome with emotion and picks up his pace at David’s declaration. Forever. It repeats in his head as he kisses David deeply. Forever. David’s yelling his name. Forever. David finishes all over their chests and Patrick follows. Forever. 

David pulls out a handkerchief and wipes them down gently, then pulls Patrick on top of him. Patrick fits perfectly in David’s arms, his head fits perfectly in David’s neck. They’re rubbing their hands lazily over each other’s chest and back, tracing patterns up and down. Finally Patrick breaks the silence, asking David, “Have you ever been in love?” 

David smiles, seemingly at a memory in his head. “I don’t know. I’ve dated terrible people. Maybe once I was. My best friend, Stevie.” Patrick looks up, not expecting what he presumes is a woman’s name to come out of David’s mouth. 

“Oh! I didn’t realize…you and women…” 

“Yeah.” David says, then going into a small metaphor about wines and labels that help Patrick understand. 

“Well,” Patrick replies, “what happened with Stevie?”

He listens silently while David tells the story about his best friend who worked in one of his Dad’s hotels. They shared only a small romance, sleeping together a few times but never saying what they truly meant to each other. “It was for the best that we ended. She was my best friend, still is. I didn’t want to lose her if things got messy, so we stopped it fairly quickly. But I think I might’ve loved her secretly, or could have if I would’ve let it go on. She gets me. Almost too much. We are very similar, she’s beautiful and witty. But we’re both kind of assholes,” laughing while he says it. 

Patrick feels a little jealous. Not because David had been with someone else, he figured he had, but because David had someone in the past who understood him. Patrick wishes he had that kind of connection with someone. 

“What about you?” David asks. 

“I think I loved Rachel, my ex. I didn’t tell you this before, but we were engaged. I ran away. That’s how I ended up here. I didn’t love her like you might’ve loved Stevie though. I can’t…for obvious reasons. It never felt right with her. Even though she tried to know me, she never saw the real me. But I love her because we’ve spent most of our lives knowing each other, I love her in a friend way I guess.”

David is staring at Patrick, listening to each word with no judgment. He doesn’t say anything so Patrick continues. 

“I spent my whole life feeling so wrong. I spent my whole life wondering what right felt like,” he looks at David with a soft gaze, trying to warn him about what he was going to say next, “I didn’t know what right felt like until I met you. You make me feel right, David.” 

David’s nodding along, “You make me feel right too, Patrick.” 

Suddenly they hear a noise coming from the entrance of the hall and they peek out the window to see workers walking through. They freeze, hoping the workers don’t notice the fogged windows and giggles in the center of the room. Luckily they don’t and they pass by slowly, but it scares the two men so they rush to get dressed and sneak away. As they ran out of the room they grabbed hands, laughing about the escape they felt they had pulled off and laughing at the magic they felt in the air. 

It’s late but they spend hours roaming the halls and sneaking kisses, feeling adventurous and free. Finally they come upon their spot on the deck, the chairs exactly where they left them but now dry since the rain had passed. They flop down, hands intertwined, staring at the stars. Finally they fall asleep like that except their hands fall apart after they drift into their dreams. 

Patrick opens his eyes and sees the sky has gotten lighter, the stars disappeared. The sun is about to rise, he can tell by the rainbow of colors coming over the horizon. He leans over and is left breathless by the sight of David asleep next to him. He looks so soft and peaceful. He doesn’t want to wake him, but he also doesn’t want to let this moment pass. So he leans over and plants a soft kiss on his cheek, whispering his name in his ear. David mumbles a hoarse good morning which makes Patrick melt. 

“Why are you up so early?” David asks.

“Shhh…because I wanted to show you this.” 

David slowly opens his eyes and suddenly they go wide, his smile growing on his sleepy face. His mouth opens slightly and he stutters trying to find something to say. “It’s beautiful.” 

And Patrick agrees. It feels like heaven is opening for them and they’re the only two people on the earth to see it. No one in sight, no voices to be heard. Just the sun coming up and warming their faces, their hands tight together. The only sound is the ocean waves beating against the side of the boat and the wind in their faces. It feels surreal. “I feel like I’m flying,” Patrick says, tightening his grip on David’s hand, “Don’t let go.” Patrick looks up into the sky, feeling weightless as he floats through the ocean on this spot on the ship. He can feel David’s eyes burning into him and hears him say quietly, “I’ll never let go.” 

Finally the sun has taken its place in the sky and they lay there in silence. David quietly started speaking, “You should dine with me again tonight, first class. If you have anything to wear.” 

“I actually have the tuxedo I was going to wear to the wedding. Can I wear that?” 

David smiles brightly and nods. “I haven’t spent time with my family really yet and they’re anxious to see me. So I need to spend the day with them, unfortunately. You might end up meeting them at dinner, I’m not really sure of their plans.”

Patrick tries not to let the disappointment show on his face. He knows that David should be spending time with his family, but he can’t help but feel a little sad that they won’t spend their entire fourth day together. They agree to meet at six outside of Patrick’s room.


	10. The Sinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick's fourth day is cut short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is emotional so...prepare yourself! Things are starting to get real for them!

Six o’clock rolls around and David shows up on time, a somewhat shocked look upon his expressive face when Patrick opens the door to reveal his tuxedo. “You look beautiful,” David says. Patrick feels the words permeate his soul, warming his whole body. David is a vision in his own tuxedo, the dead rose Patrick had given him peeking out of his front breast pocket. Ray is gone as of now so Patrick pulls him into his room, kissing him deeply but quickly. David has a desperate look on his face as Patrick pulls away, “We’ll miss dinner if we keep doing that.” David nods in understanding, a mischievous smile on his face. 

They leave and wander up to the first class dining hall, once again David receiving greetings from the staff. They sit at a table and wait for their dinner to arrive, sharing glances over their champagne glasses. David’s family never shows, so they talk freely over their meal, trying to plan what they’ll do for their last couple days on the ship. Patrick can’t believe it’s already been four days, and he has a sinking, sick feeling in his stomach when he thinks about it ending. Their dinner ends quicker than expected due to an unexpected visitor. 

Patrick spots him first, a man about David’s height who looks scarily similar to David, except his structured hair is more silver and gray than David’s. But they share the same eyebrows and hard jawline and Patrick’s stomach twists, “I think your dad is here,” he says quietly. 

David’s head whips around and his eyes get wide, confirming Patrick’s suspicions. He jumps up and meets his father before he can get to the table, although David’s fathers eyes travel there, inspecting Patrick. They whisper furiously to each other and suddenly David’s back again, but he doesn’t sit down.

“So…I might have told my father I’d be bringing food to them. I was hoping there’d be a moment between us I could slip out but obviously they got impatient. I need to go back with them, he’s furious at me for disappearing these past few days. I hope you can understand.” 

Patrick is disappointed, but he does understand. “Go with him, it’s ok. Will this be the last I see you tonight?” 

“Definitely not,” David quickly says. “I’ll come back to your room around 12:30. We’ll go back to our car, spend time together,” David winks at him. 

Patrick nods and feels the twisting feeling in his stomach again, something is wrong, something is off. “David....” David spins around, “I…” 

“Me too,” David replies. Knowing the two words that would follow that sentence. They share one last mournful, longing glance and a soft smile before David disappears out the door with his father. 

The hours pass and Patrick can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. His nerves aren’t helped by the shaking and alarming noises coming from the boat. He glances around the hallway and checks his watch, 12:35. No sign of David anywhere. There’s an energy in the air, something Patrick can’t quite place. He wonders if it’s typical of David to be late, the David that lives in New York. So he waits, deciding he’ll wait until 12:45 before going to look for David. 

12:45 comes and still no sign of David. His heart is about to beat out of his chest at this point, he feels so nervous and he doesn’t know why. So he takes off, still in his tux in search of David. 

When he reaches the decks, he sees it. A crowd of people, everyone panicking, screams about water entering the boat. People are running all around him and he’s trying to piece together what’s happening, hoping and praying it isn’t what he thinks. But soon enough someone bumps into him and yells, “You better get to the life boats!” 

Fuck. Patrick’s heart is now threatening to stop beating. His eyes are scanning quickly and he starts screaming, “David!” There’s no reply, or if there is, he can’t hear it over the screaming around him. 

He takes off as fast as he can, headed for David’s room. He passes by the lifeboats, scanning the crowd in search of David’s tall dark hair. He can’t find it so he goes to run again towards his room, but someone’s grabbing him, pushing him towards the boats. “DAVID, DAVID!” He screams. He looks around frantically as strangers push him towards the life boat, his whole body flails as he tries to fight. “David! Please, let go of me! David!” Someone yells back at him, someone pushing him, “Get in the boat, you’re first class. Unless you want to go down with the ship.” 

What? Patrick’s mind is racing. First class? He looks down and sees his tuxedo and realizes he stands out against the common looking people. This can’t be happening, he needs to get to David. His eyes fill up with tears and he starts choking on his own sobs, trying to muster up the strength to keep yelling, “D-…David!” Tears are pouring down his face and he can’t catch his breath, can’t catch it enough to even mumble David’s name. His vision is blurry behind his tears and suddenly he’s flying again, but this time with only the cold wooden lifeboat to catch him. He feels himself hit the bench with a thud and it sobers him up enough to clear his vision. He tries to scan the crowd again but doesn’t see David, instead his vision fills with the decks of the ship flying past then suddenly just dark sky and freezing ocean as he drifts away into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read and left comments and kudos, I really appreciate it!


	11. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick tries to exist after the sinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone who has read! It's almost done! I'm excited to hear what you guys think of how things are wrapping up!

Patrick isn’t sure how long he floats in the lifeboat. He’s freezing, but it doesn’t bother him, it distracts him from the numbness he feels in his body. No one on the lifeboat talks to each other. No one asks him why he cries to himself, maybe they understand. Maybe they’ve lost someone too. 

Lost. Patrick spends his time thinking about different scenarios. He imagines that maybe David made it out on a boat already, he was first class. He didn’t feel as hopeful as he wanted to when thinking of that. He wonders if David was like him, searching the boat and yelling for Patrick. This is what broke him. The thought of David alone, searching and calling and getting no response. He thinks back to the moment he realized the ship was going to snap in half. He couldn’t bring himself to look, the screams and terrible sounds the ship made were enough to shatter his heart. He couldn’t stop himself from fearing that David was on there when it happened. He replays his last moment with David. Their mournful glance, the way they almost said they loved each other. He replays the moment he sang in David’s ear, replays the words in his mind. 

“Tender lights gleaming on the silent shore… Lonely nights dreaming 'till we meet once more… Far apart, her heart is yearning…With a sigh for my returning…With the light of love still burning passing days of yore…We were sailing along on Moonlight Bay”

How relevant they seem to him now. Patrick shakes to picture the lonely nights until he meets David once more, if he ever does. If there was a black hole in his stomach the day he left Rachel, now it filled his whole body, sucking down any last hopes and any dreams him and David had made for the future. It fills his vision with black, turns his ears deaf to the sounds of the waves around him. He tries to open his eyes, praying that the visions of the boat sinking will dissipate into thin air and he’ll find David by his side. When he opens his eyes he just sees the open ocean and somewhere he feels any last chance he had at his dreams are now at the bottom of it along with the ship. He stares deeply into the water, thinking if he could somehow dive in and swim into the past he would, any chance to relive David Rose. The memories are now in the past and he doesn’t know if he can ever get away from them no matter how far this lifeboat takes him, if he even wanted to. He feels hot tears building behind his eyes and a lump grows in his throat that threatens to choke him. The tears don’t stop for a long time, he isn’t sure how long. Long enough to repeat the possible scenarios over again in his head and replay some of the memories from the last two days.

He holds onto their unspoken final words until he finally is on the safety of a new ship. 

The rescuers shuffle him into a room with a couple bunk beds, his new home for the next day until they arrive in New York on this new ship. He flops down on the bed, debating whether or not he should roam the boat and search for David, but he decides his heart couldn’t handle the scenario which was most likely, not finding him. His body is exhausted and he closes his eyes, accepting defeat as his body drifts into sleep, only to be abruptly woken up by a man shaking him. He opened his eyes and gasped, “Ray?...Is that really you?” 

“Yes! My friend, I’m so happy you’re here!” Patrick tries to take comfort in knowing Ray was here with him, and he wasn’t alone, but instead it just reminded him of the burning hole he felt in his heart. He burst into tears, crying harder than when he was thrown on to the lifeboat, gasping for breath. Ray didn’t say anything, just quickly hugged him and held him until finally Patrick cried himself back to sleep. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep before Ray was waking him up again, telling him they had arrived in New York which shocked Patrick into jumping out of bed. “We’re already here?” 

“Yes! Most passengers have long since left the ship, I just wanted to let you rest. We really need to leave though, we are one of the few people left.” 

Patrick’s heart sank. Well, there went his chance to search the boat and find David. He felt like he wanted to cry again but his eyes were dry. Ray had a kind and understanding look on his face and he reached out his hand to help Patrick out of bed. They walked off the ship in silence, no belongings to carry. Ray was kind to Patrick, letting them stay silent, leading the way and navigating through the city. Ray found them a small cheap hotel to stay in, explaining their plight to get them a room. 

Patrick threw himself onto the bed as soon as they reached their room. He fell back into a deep sleep until once again he was woken up by Ray. 

“You need to eat something. Let’s go get something.” 

Patrick nodded, he couldn’t deny that his stomach was in pain from hunger, but part of him felt he didn’t want to solve it. He didn’t want to admit defeat and let a new day start, one that acknowledged that the events on the Titanic were officially in the past. He couldn’t explain this to Ray though so he just followed him wordlessly out the door. They made their way to a small café where a short, dark haired woman took their order. “No offense, but you guys look like shit.” 

It made Patrick think of David and his sharp wit. “No shit, we just got back from being rescued at sea,” he replied, huffing out a small breath of air. 

“No fucking way. Were you guys on the ship that went down? The Titanic?” 

Patrick feels his body cringe when he hears the name. The sounds of the ship snapping are loud in his head. 

“Well we were…until we weren’t. Obviously we made it here.” He tries to add a half smile so she doesn’t think he’s a total asshole. 

“I like him,” she says to Ray, “I like you,” she says now facing him. “Whatever you want, it’s on me.” 

“Thanks,” he smiles, scanning her uniform for the name tag, “Thanks, Stephanie.” 

She smiles and nods before walking away. She comes back with food shortly and rests her arms against the cool counter as she stared Patrick down, “You know…to eat it you need to like…pick it up…and then chew,” she says in a sarcastic tone. God, Patrick’s heart is broken. She’s so similar to David. Stephanie must sense the grief behind Patrick’s eyes so she talks about herself a little before saying, “You know, I had a friend who was in Europe. He was supposed to be back in a few days I think. You would like him, he’s funny, like me.” 

Patrick smiles. He thinks of David. Everything in the café reminds him of David. The girl seems just like him, the pancakes she instructs him to eat remind him of the kind David described from his life back here. They finish the rest of their meal in silence mostly, with Ray sometimes asking Stephanie questions to try and lighten the mood. Patrick finally quietly asks Ray if they can leave and Ray of course obliges. As they leave, a taller girl pushes past them. Someone beautiful and slim, with shoulder length golden brown hair. She is stunning with dark eyebrows that break up her face. He doesn’t hear the words she says as she runs up to the counter but he sees her hands moving expressively as she describes something to Stephanie, and again he dreams of David. 

Him and Ray spend the rest of the day wandering around the city, Ray desperate to see the tourist sites. They repeat the process again the next day, except this time eating breakfast in their room at the hotel. They see museums and monuments, Patrick’s heart aching as he thinks of David growing up in this space. That night, they pick up pizza on their way back to the hotel and as they eat, Ray asks the dreaded question: “So…what next?” 

Patrick can’t look at him. That is the question, isn’t it? He didn’t want to leave New York, the feeling of being surrounded by David everywhere he went. But that’s exactly why he had to leave. He couldn’t grieve if he was faced with parts of David at every turn. He needed somewhere new, a fresh start where he could mourn the loss of what him and David shared in peace. So he says that, quietly, “I need to leave. As soon as possible.” 

Ray nodded and said, “I thought you might say that, I bought us two train tickets. Want to come with me to Canada?”


	12. The Creek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick tries to begin his new life without David Rose.

Patrick spent their train ride replaying again the night his life, his dream he was so close to, fell apart. He sees it when he’s awake and when he sleeps, his worst nightmares flash behind his eyelids, showing David lost on the boat without him, somewhere Patrick can’t get him. 

When he finally opens his eyes for good, the train is slowing down. Patrick frantically checks his surroundings to try and figure out where Ray had led them to, which is when he sees a bright wooden sign welcoming them to…that can’t be right…to Schitt’s Creek. 

It’s the first time he’s laughed in days, the first time since he shared glances with David over drinks the night it happened. A couple days ago he was certain he'd never laugh again and he felt a pang of guilt creep in along with a sense of relief that he could, “Ray…where are we?” 

Ray has a shining smile and he explains this was the cheapest ticket he could get them, and Patrick seemed desperate to escape so he booked it. Patrick understands and he can’t help but feel this is the perfect place for him to process what happened. “Ok…maybe we can stay for a week or so.” 

*** 

A month passes and they’re still there, Patrick and Ray living together. Ray has adjusted well to Schitt’s creek, trying out all of the business ideas he had told Patrick about all those nights ago. Not long after they arrived, Patrick realized where he was in relation to his home, only a few hours away. He decided to write to them once they realized they weren’t leaving at the end of the week. He wasn’t sure if his family was home yet or not, but they’d at least get the letter when they did get home. He didn’t include much, just that he was safe and was living somewhere new for the foreseeable future. He didn’t include a return address because he wasn’t ready to face his family, or Rachel. God, Rachel. He forgot about her honestly. Seeing them would only bring him back to his memories with David, so he needed to stay away until one day he hoped the sting of David’s loss was less painful. 

He spends his first couple of months in Schitt’s Creek mourning, helping Ray out with his business ideas as much as he could some days and other days not even getting out of bed. The days without David get easier, although the memories never fade. He still dreams about David every night, sometimes good memories of them dancing together and sometimes nightmares. As the months pass he sometimes lets himself remember the feel of David’s lips on his own, the sight of David’s chest and arms. Sometimes it leaves him wrecked for the rest of the day, those memories. 

One day, after five months in Schitt’s Creek, the general store has a for lease sign on it. David’s voice floats through Patrick’s head, their dream of running the store together. Patrick doesn’t think, just moves quickly and recklessly, talking to Ray to find the right people to help him. Soon enough, the lease is in his name and he puts a small sign out front that says Rose Apothecary. When he steps inside the store after putting his sign up, he breaks down, sobbing on the ground. He did this so impulsively, but that’s what he was with David. He let himself get out a few more choked sounds before he got himself up. He might be in way over his head, as David had said, he’s a numbers guy. But he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to make this store a reality, so that even if…even though David was gone, his dream could continue. 

After his breakdown in the store, he couldn’t step back in for another month, feeling stuck again on the past no matter where he went or what he did. After realizing that he was seemingly destined to live forever in those few days from months ago, he finally decided it was time to go home, let his parents see him and pack up the rest of his life to solidify his move to Schitt’s Creek. A step in trying to make his future work in tandem with his dreams from the past. 

He packs up one day, six months after arriving in town with Ray and he takes the train back home. He finally sees the Canadian countryside, on their first trip up he was so out of it that he hadn’t noticed the beauty. But it was beautiful and Patrick let his mind reminisce on the time he told David about his memories on this countryside. His eyes well up with tears, wishing David was here in this moment to see the beauty, he thinks maybe David would like to paint it. That part makes Patrick smile. 

When he gets home his parents are shocked to see him. They run outside of their little house at the sound of the taxi out front, and when his mom sees his face she bursts into tears. They hug for a while, all of them crying silently, although Patrick thinks he’s crying for different reasons than them. “Did you guys get my letter?” 

“Yes!” His mom exclaimed, “We’ve just been hoping one day you’d show up or tell us where you’ve been! We could’ve shipped you things! You know we have a lot of mail we wanted to forward to you.” 

“Mail for me?”

His mom nods and has a face as if she thought Patrick was expecting this. “There are letters, a ton of them, piled up on your bed, all for you. They’ve been coming in for the past six months or so. We would’ve sent them but…we didn’t know where you were.” 

Patrick feels guilty but he can’t dwell on it long, his brain is too confused and busy trying to process what she said. He pulled out of their hug and takes off towards his bedroom, almost collapsing when he sees the pile of letters for him and really collapsing when he grabs one and sees the name on the return address: David Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW. Only 2 more chapters! Well one chapter and an epilogue! Thanks for reading!


	13. The Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick reads the letters and searches for David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last 2 chapters! I've loved reading the comments so much and I really appreciate everyone who has left one or has left kudos or has even read it! Thank you! I really liked writing this and I think I might write more fics now that this is over?? Idk. Can't wait to hear what you guys think of the ending!

Patrick can’t hold it in, he lets out a loud cry and falls onto the floor, tearing open the first letter. They’re in order by date, his mom laying them out in the order they came in. When he opens the first one, it’s dated the day he landed in New York. First he sees the paper with the beautiful writing on it, and behind it he gasps as he sees the painting of himself from six months ago on David’s velvet lounge. He reads: 

“Dear Patrick, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but I’ve just landed in New York after being rescued by a ship. I searched for you the night of the sinking, but I couldn’t find you. I called out for you but my dad grabbed me and forced me into a life boat. When we finally made it onto the rescue ship, I could only take a pill and cry until I fell asleep. My parents rushed me off the boat before I could see if you had been rescued too. It’s been a horrific journey to get here and I’m in agony not knowing if you’re ok or not. I’ve been thinking of every possible scenario and in most of them, you’re lost to me forever. I guess by writing this, I’m trying to keep you alive. If you get this, I want you to have my painting of you. I carried it in my pocket since the night I made it along with your address. I’m so thankful it was saved. I hope you’ll come find me if you do make it home. Forever yours, David Rose.” 

Patrick doesn’t know when he started crying, but by the time he closes the letter, he’s bawling. He looks at the return address and it’s somewhere in New York. He feels like a fool for not staying in New York until he found David but he can’t beat himself up over it now, he just has to get to him. He stuffs all of the letters into his bag and races down the stairs. His eyes are still red from crying and he can feel his cheeks still damp with barely dried tears but he has a smile on his face, a genuine smile. His parents stare at him with concern and he kisses their cheeks, “I know I just got here but I have to go. I have to find the person who wrote me these. I promise I’ll come back again and when I get home, I’ll write you my address so you can write me or visit me.” 

His parents are bewildered but are too surprised to stop him so he takes off running, knowing if he hurries it’s just a short run to the train station. He arrives completely winded, he’s barely able to choke out any words but he’s there, and he’s buying the earliest ticket to New York. 

Patrick spends the whole time on the train opening the rest of the letters, re-sorting them by when David had dated them. He’s grateful for the long train ride ahead, it gives him time to read through all the letters, one for each day they’ve been apart which makes Patrick melt in a way he never thought he would again. He starts with the one from the day after their return to New York.

“Dear Patrick, Yesterday my sister, Alexis, went to our favorite café. I couldn’t bring myself to go. She brought me back pancakes and I thought about how much you would love them. She saw Stevie there, she’s a waitress now apparently. Stevie told Alexis about the two men she just served, two survivors from the Titanic. I cried when she told me later, I thought of you, I wish it was you. I wish I would’ve gone with my sister but I can’t stop thinking of you, I can’t get myself out of bed. New York isn’t the same without you, even though you’ve never been here. I hope you see this one day. Forever yours, David Rose.” 

Patrick’s heart breaks, he wants to scream at the top of his lungs, “It was me.” But instead he just lets himself cry, bracing himself for the rest of the letters. They go on like that, daily accounts of David’s day, told as if Patrick were right there listening to them. They get longer and more detailed and with each one Patrick feels the love in his heart grow, imagining David sitting and writing so much. Each one is signed the same, forever yours. He laughs while he reads them, picturing David’s tone for each line as he describes stories of Stevie or Alexis. He cries while he reads some too, his heart breaking when David would write, “Please, Patrick. Please reply.” He wishes he could turn back time and get to David so he would never have to write letters begging Patrick to exist. David writes of feeling the days get easier, only to see something that reminded him of Patrick and then David would write about being trapped in the past.

There is one after a few months of being apart where David heard their song, the one Patrick had sung to him. That one was signed differently, it said, “I love you, Patrick. I’m forever yours…David Rose.” Patrick couldn’t stop crying, his body struggling to identify the million emotions he felt at once. He felt so happy, happy that David never forgot him and that he was alive. He was sad too though, understanding the pain behind David’s pleas, begging Patrick to write him back. Patrick also feels sad thinking that they’ve spent the last six months apart when they could’ve been together. He feels guilt for not trying as hard as David did over these last six months. Patrick reads the rest of the letters and when he still has time left, he rereads his favorites, trying to soak up every piece of information about David over the last six months to try and fill the whole that had replaced his heart. 

Finally the trains stops in New York and Patrick can’t get his bags fast enough. He makes a bolt for the exit of the train station but stops when he sees a vendor to the side of the doorway, standing next to a cart full of roses. Patrick stops, he knows it’s fate. He was on his way to get his rose. Finally. So he pulled out his money and bought a large bouquet of red roses. He thanked the man profusely, much more than was required for just a bouquet of flowers, and he checked the return address of the letters he had received one more time before bolting out. 

Finally the moment came. He was outside of the address, staring up. Patrick didn't know how long he stared, his heart felt like it had stopped beating as he took in the weight of the moment. He finally worked up the courage to ring the bell and when he got no response he began pounding on the door, desperate to see it swing open. “David! David Rose!” He yelled as he pounded the door. 

“Patrick?” He heard softly behind him. He suddenly was transported back to six months ago on the deck of the Titanic, hearing curses fly out of a beautiful man’s mouth, his voice something so unique. The hairs on the back of Patrick’s neck stood up and he felt his body go numb and his skin cover in goosebumps. He slowly turned around and was faced with a tearful David Rose.


	14. The Epilogue

They stared at each other in disbelief, neither of them saying anything. It was as if nothing had changed, they shared stares that expressed everything they were feeling in that moment, once again not needing words to communicate. 

“Hi.” David finally whispered. 

“Hi, to you,” Patrick replied, hot tears slipping out silently to fall down his face. 

“Are you really here?” 

“I am. I got your letters.” 

David’s crying and smiling, his face going on one of the many journeys Patrick had grown to love, “Finally! Do you want to come inside? My family is out right now so we can talk.” 

Patrick nodded and let David lead him inside. The home was beautiful which Patrick had expected. Modern decorations were spread throughout each room, chandeliers lighting up every surface. Patrick didn’t let his eyes stay on the décor long though, instead focusing his attention back on David. Patrick takes in the stubble that he had dreamed about feeling under his fingertips, the dark eyebrows that moved expressively, the dark eyes that seemed to hold a whole universe within them. He lets his eyes wander to David's thick neck and the soft sweater that begins there, taking in the fluffy black texture that contrasted with the sharp black dress pants David wore. So ridiculous, so ethereal. They sat down across from each other, David’s knees falling in between Patrick’s as they had so many months ago. They take each other’s hand and stare, neither one sure who would speak first. “How are you here?” David starts, his voice barely above a whisper, “I thought you were dead.” 

“I just went home for the first time since everything, I came as soon as I got the letters. I read them all on the way here and then reread them. I can’t believe you wrote me one every day.” 

David rolls his eyes playfully, his mouth twisting into a smile which Patrick relishes in finally seeing it again and he says, “Well…if you read them then you’d know I did it because…you know…” and he waves his hands expressively.

“I do know. I love you too, David Rose.” 

Patrick’s heart melts as he sees the blush and smile that spread across David’s face. He hands over the roses which makes David tear up again. Patrick leans in to kiss away the tears, letting his hands wrap in David’s hair. He has been picturing this moment for months, dreaming that one day it would happen again and yet he still wasn’t prepared as his mouth hovered just above David's. He leaned in to close the gap anxiously. David’s lips felt soft and warm under Patrick’s, both of them hesitant, worried their expectations had been built up too high. As if they both realized at the same time that it was as good as they remembered, they deepened the kiss and David pulled Patrick on top of him. They kiss passionately like that for what feels like forever until same as six months ago, David’s stomach growls and they separate as they both fall into laughter. He can’t believe that he’s hearing David’s bubbly laugh and he has to stare in disbelief, admire his perfect features and make sure he isn’t dreaming. He finally gets up, letting David go into their kitchen to bring them food, their tradition restarting. 

They spend the time catching up while they eat, David filling Patrick in on anything he hadn’t written in his letters. David had closed the gallery, apparently holding onto his conversation with Patrick in bed on the ship. He said his family was closer than ever but he said none of them felt right in New York. Something had changed on the ship and nothings been the same since then. He doesn’t seem to know what’s next for them. Then it was Patrick’s turn and he described how Ray had found him and how they spent only a couple days in New York (yes, he says, that was me at the café with Stevie) before venturing out to find a new home, and then that they had found it in a small little Canadian town. He told him about Schitt’s Creek and tried to capture the charm the town had, despite being so desolate. Then he got nervous, fingers fidgeting with David’s rings across the table and staring at David’s hands, forcing himself to say the next part, “I bought a store, David...I thought you were dead. I wasn’t as strong as you, I couldn’t come looking and feel the pain of not finding you, so I kept you alive the only way I knew how to at the time, by purchasing your dream store...” David’s hands had slid out from under Patrick’s and Patrick now felt the cold wooden table underneath his touch. He finally raised his eyes and saw that David’s hands were covering his mouth, not believing what he was hearing. His eyes were filled with tears. Patrick didn’t know if it was good or bad so he just continued, “I bought it a month ago. I put the sign out front…Rose Apothecary...Just pretentious enough," He tries to laugh before continuing seriously, "I haven’t been able to step inside. You're the dreamer, the idea guy…and I’m just a numbers guy. I couldn’t make your dream really come to life as it deserved. But it’s there. Ready for its rightful owner to come and make something out of it.” Patrick stared into David’s eyes, searching for an answer. The tears were flowing now silently and David let out a laugh. 

“Are you asking me to come back with you?” He asked, some teasing in his voice, flirtatiousness. 

“God, David do I have to beg? Cause I will!” And Patrick’s laughing now, closing the gap again between him and David. 

“Well you do, but I think I’ll save that for when we aren’t in my parent’s home anymore.” Patrick feels his whole neck get hot and he knows he’s bright red. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t look harder for you,” Patrick says suddenly but quietly, immediately overcome with guilt as he looked at the perfect man in front of him who’s been anxiously awaiting his arrival. 

David stared and Patrick couldn’t quite read his expression. It takes a few minutes for David to speak, as if he is carefully choosing his words, “You did the same as me, kept me alive however you could. The thought that you’ve bought my store…” David’s looking off at first, his eyes teary before he finally brings them to meet Patrick’s and he flashes a small smile. “Well…you’re making our dream come true.” 

Patrick can only nod and fight off another crying fit, taking David’s cheek in his hand and staring into his eyes. 

After a while of kissing and some more crying, they agree to leave as soon as possible, not wanting to waste another second after spending so long apart. Patrick goes upstairs and helps David pack all of his ridiculous clothes into suitcases, and god…Patrick’s missed those ridiculous sweaters. Finally David’s family return from the day’s activities and Patrick finally gets to meet the people he’s heard so much about. Moira is just as extravagant and absurd as David had described, but also similar in personality to David which David hadn’t mentioned. He recognizes David’s father from their last night on the ship but is still taken aback by the striking resemblance he shares with David. Then Patrick meets Alexis who promptly boops him on the nose. Patrick recognizes her too, she was the young woman who flitted past him as he left the café that day with Ray. They all ask him a million questions over dinner and Patrick feels overwhelmed by the conversation but also feels accepted into the family already. David tells his family that Patrick and him are leaving to open a store together and his whole family is so intrigued by the description of the store and the city it will reside in. They promise that they’ll come visit with Stevie within the next month, Patrick not knowing at the time that they’d soon be living there with them and creating their own lives there.

The next day, Patrick and David get on a train to head back to Schitt’s Creek, talking the whole way about David’s vision for how to make the store pretentious but timeless. Just as Patrick suspected, David loves the countryside, saying he’d love to paint it one day. And as they pass through meadows and fields, Patrick is transported back to their first meeting, still enchanted by the man next to him, feeling small against the world of opportunity that awaits the two of them, and this time holding a new Rose, one that’s forever his. 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald


End file.
